i really want a break from all things.

sigh~im tired.of what?everything.i want to stopped doing things.don't wanna do anymore.i need a break.no kitkat please.

someone tell me to balance my work and other things properly.or should i say i cant handle so many things already?im tired.i want a break.

i cant sleep these day.sleep late and wake up late.and sadly late for sch.i keep thinking and thinking..i cannot take it.i bth already.i think till i cant zzz at all..im on bed..but my mind aren't relaxing.but my mind are still thinking hard..real hard...bth...bth..-scream-

school work are getting more and more as new term starts.and projects and calling out already.and im so tired.my mind is like telling me..today this yesterday this tomorrow that next week this and that.omg..im dying!-scream-scream- ARGhhHHHhhhhHHhhh!

i want to cry~can i be abit qin qu hua now....eventhough it seldom happen...sigh!

i miss him i miss her!my gong gong my nai nai.omg i miss them.

im facing the white wall all the time.man my life is like....white.......walls...gwash...

sigh.well.i came into a conclusion..shall not say it out here.

if u are wondering how i look like with that short ugly hairstyle which make me look like a girl who just got released from prison..here it is..


someone say this look fat.btw.i went to check my BMI.im on the HEALTHY WEIGHT RANGE okie!haha!and i never gain weight hor.so its not fat okie.haha!




someone say this is a stupid face and someone also say this face look like ah lian.oh please.ah lian face got likedat de mehz?from what i know about ah lian.their hair long long and dye with many colours and their make up is thick thick like glue on their face lehz..and the face is sooooo like not happy de okie.as for my situation...still not that cham lahz.hahah!


this is my DinoKids Trading de Logo.coloured by michelle.


i wanted this actually.as u can see..my company is DinoKids Trading.so must have Dino and Kids ma..hahaha!so u see..dere got Dino and got 2 Kids lehz.haha!but well..dino no.1 also not bad!hahah!

-gone-

i've cut my hair!!!!!buTTtt!!!

well.got home at around 3+pm and off i go to my house downstair's salon to cut my hair.sighz.it turn out like a disaster for me hahahah!sighz.from my long long hair to my short short hair.cant even tie it up.and to me it look so like im a girl who just got released from girls home with THAT kinda hair on me..ArGGhhhHHh!sighz..nevermind...wait till it grow back to its formal self..i'll look better hahahhaaaaa!!!just don't laugh at me when you see me okie...want to laugh can!!!but don't laugh infront of me hahahaaha!later i bite you!hahahha!

that's about my new haircut....today..school..kinda boring..and why i say that...coz..its seems like theres no lesson at all.the 8am lesson is cancelled..so till like 10++11 no lesson...except for SW lesson.den is Mr Goh time..but its like..a counselling session,with chosen ppl..who are being called up by Goh..and the rest of the class can leave..and so we left and then another lesson..Mr Tay..his lesson...also another slack one..he just brief us through what are we gonna do tmr..and den he never dismiss us..and off everyone go..

now..about myself..been feeling so confused lately.don't know what i wanna do.sighz.okie nvm.

-gone-

Saturday:25th June 2005

well well well

everyone is asleep while im here blogging.ArgHh.ive got nothing better to do at home.couldn't get to sleep.no idea why.wuaahahaa.

today woke up at 11am to get prepared to go to school to take That bus to be at Padang.i still don't understand why must i go all the way there.wuahaa..but well..nevermind.reached Padang...wow...i think today is the full rehersal isit?i see many people there.

hmm.the moment i got to the holding area,i was being approached by this lady,she said she's from the xin ming re bao or xin ming whatever wan lahz.took pictures..and had a short interview as there weren't enough time..

today everything goes on well..but..i tell you..someone caught my attention..not a celebrity not a super duper handsome dude.not a cute kid..but is a very loud and fierce de Ns Man.my goodness..his face is like written:im damn pissed.and he shouted so loud can.i was so shocked.i was like..who is this man here.well i understand that he is under pressure and having to take care of us the motivators..and some motivators..sigh..i tell you...some are maybe..erm..deaf?or just simply ignorant..this poor man is like trying his very best to get things done..but...well..in the end need the GREAT loud voice of his to do the job.i seriously think he is so fierce loh..i cant stand the look on his face when he is screaming..it just scares me off..all i did was to tell myself not to bother about this screaming man.i don't know his name..but what reminds me of him was-tt man who screams real loud and fierce.-man...i bth..now his scream still runs in my ear..i tell you..its really fierce man..this man...no words to describe.

wanted to go cgm today..but due to NDP training i cant go.sigh.this is the first time in this year that i miss my cgm.gosh.i really hate to miss it.it ended around 630++pm..i thought i can rush off for the meeting.but was called back due to this erm..i don't know what need to take shot of my partner and me and some other people..and coz of that,gotta wait till 8+++pm.bth..and in between the time,partner went to meet his gf.and i joined the erm...Ns people..well..group of funny people..ahaha..if im not wrong one called manfred but i called him monfort wuahaha.opps..another one ivan blah blah de..forgot.and one more alvin..and one more..i forgot..but i know the kids loves him..called him dunno what gege.wuahaha..

and here comes the photoshoot..very interesting to me..haha..we must say hey..or har..hahha!and jump!ahahahz..interesting hor..and got this boy...gosh..he is 14 years old but he look like a P3 kid.can u imagine...goodness...look so young..but he seem stern to me..hahaz.sua cool okie hahha!

and while walking to the station to go home..someone shouted my name and i got a big shocked.today got shocked twice.haha!its yingying and mei mei!!hahah!both shouted at the same time..i was kinda tired..but still wanna have fun hahaz.so i joined them.tgt with ah xi and..erm..i forgot his name..farnie guy..man..this farnie guy..got this hair that can style till he look totally like a lion!hahahaha!and he can really act..he should join mediacorp man..he really act well..we were all at esplanade..till erm 1030++pm..we were sitting right in the middle of the..erm i dunno where..but its where the blue little ball ball there de loh.haha!near the road..sitting right in the middle and there farnie guy and mei mei dancing..and playing...haha!and acting like a lion..ahahhaha!!they are so farnie haha!

lastly..NDP is really fun..and i really feel proud to be part of it..thou i gotta miss out some of my fav meetings.sigh...............aRghh...bth...actually ive got complains about some of the motivators..but well..forget it..they are likdat...well..somee are really loud people...those who are in big big groups..and really open..talk simply about anything and i really mean everything and anything..well..what can the people in the world talk abt?hope u guess it right...but i met good people there..haha!thank God for the little good out of the biggest of not so good people i see..

sey i deen uuoy deen uuoy yldam.

-gone-

what a tired day~

woke up at 6 this morning to go school.hmm.was suppose to meet ting at my house bus stop at 7am sharp to take bus to school.but she couldn't make it on time.so its okie.took the 709am bus instead.well.wasn't late for school.thank God hahaz.

during the Business Software Application lesson,i was so so so tired which i don't know why.maybe coz of my late sleep..i was so tired that i get my work done asap and my head is on my computer desk.i was so tired~guess my teacher knows about it but he didn't wake me till he gotta continue the lesson after everyone have finish their work.and so,he kicked my chair.i got a shocked so i wake up.but after awhile..my head is on the chair.im leaning againts...hmmm what is tt call?that thing for us to lean our back de.my head is there.and i zzz.its like every 30sec wake up just to pay attention just to know whats happening during the lesson.gosh..im jus soooo tired..and had break.took the breaktime to go somewhere near the library to zzz.and for the business school,we have a talk,took that time to zz also.haha..but i got listen to some talk nia.like Q&A loh.hahah!!!btw.im not a pig haha!and again..took bus home and zzz in the bus also hahaha!

got home,did not rest.and head to my kitchen to clean the mess.wash the bowls all lahz..and my kittens..i want to vomit when im cleaning their toilet..puke~how i wish my brother is back..so can help me...

took pics today wuahaah..im in the office okie.im the FUTURE SECRETARY OF A LI HAI COMPANY!!!!wEEee!!That is my DREAM okie haha!





-gone-

here I am~

again here i am...heehee.got home around 3++pm wuahaha..school ended so early hor..felt so great hahaa..im at home now..soooooo bOred..

got all the books..it seems like theres more to study..coz got more books lohz hahaz..

know what...my classmate got the highest gpa in class can...its 3.75 very li hai right..sigh..how i wish i were her...how i wish i can do as good as her.sigh....how i wish...i only got one A...where got enough..she got 3 As loh..sighhhh...

aRggHHhhh......he is in the same class as i am!!!aRgggHHhh he is in the same class as i am!!!!cannot take it....ARgHH....i din know till i saw him in class!ARgGHhhh why!!!!!!

mr Goh can really talk....his voice is a very good medicine for people who need to sleep...i was listening to him....tilll i doze offf...........-faints-

yeah!!mr Tay is still teaching the class!!!yeah!!!mr Tay is a very nice teacher lehz..haha!he is so good!btw..i got A for the subject he taught!hahahah!WWeeeeEeee!!hahahz.and now..i hope i could get A still....for the new subject that he is gonna teach..

everything is new to me again...except for what mr Tay is gonna teach..im stressed!!stressed over getting afraid of how my gpa will be after this term..very scared that i don't do well..sigh...

told that i got 3.313 and know what he say..he said:why never get distinction...in my heart i was like..i hope i can...i tried..but still cant lehz...sighhhhh...

whenever people go around asking for what others got for their gpa..my heart felt terrible...sigh...im happy for them...but not for myself...

-gone-

SCHOOL RE-OPEN!!!!!!

hmm im in school computer lab.having break..i got my temporary time-table.im so so so SATISFIED with the time-table.BUTTT!!the friday time slot is so not GOOD loh!aRGhhh...i have to be in school like for 2hours and i can go home..sigh....afterall the time-table is still better than the first module...so its okie..

yeah!!!he is not in the same class as me...yeah!!!!hahahahahaha!!!!!

im so boredddd.............................it seems like theres no lesson today....

yes.pls stay away.

weee....im so happpy today hahahahahaha!!!

my brother is sick...i wonder how is he now.....he keep coughing like mad...

-gone-

SELFISH LAST MINUTE PEOPLE!!!

well.woke up at 1+pm today.and read my message and i got upset straight away.not because im a petty person.

i hate it so much when people start to change their mind on the VERY LAST MINUTE.and giving me all sorts of excuses.like need to get this.till i question and question,it ended up..just take it as i say i don't wan today.i was like...wasn't boiling..but almost wuaahha..and so i thought to myself,huh?you just don't feeling like doing things and you straight away EXPECT people to follow your way?when everything has planned like a day or few days before?and you even agreed to it.you agreed to everything but now just one no from you ive got to say okie?arent you being selfish here?all u care is yourself.you dun feel like this u don't want eventhough everything is planned.wow...thank you YOU man.SUCH selfish person.don't even know how to treasure what you have..tmr we're starting school and today is the last day we can get together...but you just BLEW it off by saying YOU DON"T FEEL LIKE!WHART MAN!why cant you be SPECIFIC?if you don't FEEL like just say it.don't need to answer after i questioned and questioned...

i really wonder,in life if people get so on last minute most of the time and don't plan..and even if planned and change his/her mind..what will happen to them?if we don't plan to succeed we will plan to fail..sigh..nvm.

just don't say OK to me when the night before you're actually not interested anymore.or better...don't plan with me..im not a person who cancel things the last minute..if you are..do me good...stay away frm me...

-gone-

Tiring yet fun filled day!!!

woke up at 645am today to get prepared to go school to TAKE BUS to PADANG.woke up at THAT time cos i did not want to miss THAT BUS.so i reached school at 9++am.they said by 930am must reach.so im there......bUT!!!!!!BUT!!BUT!!im so hungry tired and hungry lohz,waited and waited can..ARggHHH..waited soooo long..i bth de lehz..haha..wait till 10++am and THANK GOD the BUS FINALLY arrived!hahah!and sadly,i cant take the same bus as my fren.sigh.........and im all alone again...forever de lehz...aRGHh...nvm,im independent.haha!so i took bus 3,decided to sleep in the bus..but they introducing themselves..so i also intro lohz aaha!i friendly okie haha!after introducing myself..i cant help it,i doze off hahahahaha!opppsss...

reached padang.MAN!this place is so not cold!!!aRghh..i bth again..and is SHOOOO SUNNY lehz..bth..hahhaz..eventhough i wanna be darker..but,wrong timing lahz.hahaz.hmm..den...start the ndp thing..hmm...the place is real big..eventhough its not as big as Outdoor Stadium..but still big lahz...and practice loh..

and its lunch time!!WeeEeee!but!!BUT BUT!!the food today....sigh...dunno what lai de.hahaz..nvm..at least i ate something...but..to choose that food and kfc...i'll choose kfc..wuahahhaha!

my jeans got dirtied while dancing..so i decided to go home and change..got home,got so tired..so i slept hahahaha!!!was suppose to go aunts place..but...im just too tired..so i nv go..and SURPRISINGLY...my brother went wuahaha!so good of him...once in a while...hahahaz

cg was great today..everyone shared about their vision in life..what they wanna be...as for me,i wanna be a secretary in a very li hai de company..and a company that does fashion and travel..and im will go for it...im so sure i can make it..must walk the talk..heez..dream big dream haha!btw..im a step closer to my dream already haha!btw..my boss is not JAE hahha!!!i dun wan to work in Jurong Bird PArk!!!hahahaha!

well..tel u smth..i injured myself..some i dun even know it haha!i injured mua hand..got blue black..and den super duper obvious..like got abused..sigh...den i ironed my clothes and i burn dao my hand..den i went anne hse..i hit my tui on the chair den i was walking to bus stop from anne hse..for nothing i hit one of the tyre of a car hahahahahaa!!!oppsss...

lastly...hAPPPYYY BELATED BIRTHDAY JAN AND EUN!!!!STAY PRETTY DEARIES!!!!


this is tired jessie eating red bean ice cream!!!!yum yum yum yum!!!haha.and behind me is melvin aka MEOW!!ahahahah!!

look at my eyes...see how tired i am..wuahahahaha


Geck dearie and meee..blurr pic...


just in case those who dunno that ive got kittens...here is it...the is milky..haha!she is soooo cute right!!lying on my bro blanket..hahah!she was sleeping beside my brother hahaha!she is soooo sweetttt!!

-gone-

hmm.this week..been a great week for me.haha!nothing went wrong haha!everything went just fine.haha!

just got home from church service.it was a great service today wuahaha!realised that God is soo good.haha!and Pastor said this sentence that caught me deep in thoughts..Pst says:Your Life will never change with time,your life will change only when your thinking changes.i was like..phuaaa..i was really pondering over it hahaa!and i know i should change my mindset haha!and also:you are in the world but you are not of the world.hahaz..yesh im not of the world...

hmmm..had been going for NDP thingy for most of the time in the week..haha..interesting hahaa!church dance ministry is organising dance classes,classes like MTV dance or HipHop dance.and its like only $5per lesson..wow!!i wonder if i should go..haha!

my brother is sick.having high fever..gosh..God please heal him..he look like a weak man loh hahaaz...

tomorrow is FATHERS DAY!!!yEAHH!!!!!!HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL!hor jason?hor TF?hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhaha!im just joking hahahahhaahahahahahahahhahah!!!btw..thanks soooooooo much for the lolipoppppp..i counted..JAE u stuff 10 lolipopppppppp into my bag hahahahahahahahha!!thanks!!i will enjoy eating hahahahahahahhahaa!!!!

HAPPY lao dou jie hahahahhahahah!!!

tel u wad..tmr having NDP training at Padang...BUTTT..i cant go padang all by myself..i have to go ALL THE WAY to SIMEI to take the bus offered by the school down to padang..pls!!!!aRGhh...waste my time loh..aRGhh...nvm...haha!im jus complaining wuahahahahahahhaa!!!

-gone-

pictures speaks a thousand words~~
























-gone-

its 120am and i just woek up frm my lalala land at 12++am.hee..

its a tiring yet exciting yet fun filled day today!!hmm..was kinda tiring thou,but thank God i still have the strength to jian chi till im home haha!i did not sleep for 24hrs haha!and its my very first record!hahaha!

left my home at 8++am today to meet ting to go school together,she gotta get sch uniform hahaz.she is coming to mua school!!weEee!!hmm..she is kinda sad..due to...but well..as i've told her everything..just hope she'll be fine soon...

went to the main LT today..and wow..so many people..STRESSED..den we danced..and i keep forgetting my dance steps and Jerlin-cherographer-says kinda obvious haha!so ive gotta memorise all now..and tomorrow at 8am its the actual media thing liao!cham la cham!!stressed!all the reporters,Channel NewsAsia people coming and Djs coming..oh no!!!stressed!and must danced infront a whole lot of people..and must SMILE haha!i hope i can do it..haha!and its like,we got little time rehers tmr as we are the first to perform!!arGhhh..HELP!!haha!and i tel you,my partner!!!!!he is a VERY POWERFUL i really mean POWERFUL dancer!!each and every step he takes,man!!!!the POWER is EXTREME!den he is so talll..or i mean im short lahz..den..aRGhhh...im like a grass beside him!haha!but he is very funny lah!our dance we still have to make noise like UH HUH!UH HUH!!WOHHHOOOOOOO!!aahhaha!funny sia...and while practising with my partner the dancestep,i keep chuan qi-ing,coz he is jus too faST!!and i ALSO tired..and den keep 12345678!!den..very fast beat haha!den we have to dance like its not our first time eventhough it is haha!and SMILE and SMILE haha!it was a fun day today haha!

i actually doze off while waiting for the NSF people to end their meeting haha..so bad hor..haha..but nvm..i think noone saw me zzz haha!

i becoming to dislike KFC!!all training they offer KFC...gosh!!!it dun come with water also..den its like 2pcs chicken likedat...not full..coz nv eat finish la.coz not nice!!i dun like KFC!!haha!i dun mind mac!!!ahahha!

i cant wait for the dance!!!wEEeeeeeee!!!Motivators!!!GOOOO!!!!We can do it!

zzzzZZzzZZzzzzzZZzzZZZZZzzzzzz

-yawnnnnnnn-woke up around 2++3pm.very "early"hor?haha!well..today im super free.coz i've got no plans to go out and play.haha!decided to stay at home and chill..eventhough theres nothing interesting at home..i just want to pei yang gan qing with my home sweetie home.haha!and also do some cleaning up.im so sick and tired of the messy stuff around my house.ESPecially the living room,eventhough its not my stuff,but i don't understand why HE keep bringing HIS stuff and put at MY house!its like,its my house and you are here sleeping already,im okie with it but you should at least clean up some of your things and pack.but sadly you did not.and small things like my kitchen dustbin,i did not put any plastic bag coz i no time to put so if someone wants to throw things into the dustbin,its like only one step away for the person to reach out for the plastic bags and put it into the dustbin and there he can throw the things away,SADLY again,HE DID NOT.and he just throw!!!ARGhhHHhH!!!QI SI WO LE!!why can't grown ups be alittle....ermm...not lazy and....erm....be alittle...erm....clean?

sigh..the feeling is so not good..whenever i got home,i see the stuff at the living room,i feel so lazy to do anything.coz whatever i do,or how many times i do,its still the SAME!!no change..ARGHhh!really BTH!!hahaz..

i can live without my maid,but i don't think he can live without someone who is there to clean.eventhough i wish my maid can come back..butt...sigh.BTH..BTH..aiya...loads of stories behind him..i just don't want to say it..all i know is,sometimes..even if its your brother or closest kin,cant be trusted or..some are very cruel..or some are very ermmm...BAD?sigh..but i think,its only for the older generation..hahaz..coz my brother and i,wun do such things to one another..we love each other too much and quarrels is nan mian de ahaha..

sigh...okie..thats me complaining..but still,life have to go on STILL.............ARghh...

---yesterday---

went church with joanna..ahaha..im so happy that she went church tgt with me..its like wow!my best fren is coming to the church i always go..ahah..den after that went to the opp kopitiam and had a drink talk all tat...den head down town..took pics..haha!

hmm...meeting jo later for my breakfast lunch and dinner.ahhaaha!

i want to cut hair!!!!i want to cut hair!!!i want to cut hairr!!!!!!

daer ruoy golb..adnik ssim uoy.dnimreven efil llits evah ot og no.evi llits attog evom no.

-gone-

my tiring day~

today was late for my NDP training..erm late for 15mins.it starts at 930am but i turned up ard 945am.haha.i woke up late.woke up at 830am.oppss..actually i got up at 705am..but den i see HP,its still early as i set my alarm at 715am..ahah.10mins can dream alot de okie haha!and i went back to my lalala land and den,im LATE haha!

was late and have got no money to take cab.so borrowed money from my bro..haha!see my brother so good..ahaa..and just now he said:when u got the money den return..as long u rem you need to return me the money can liao..i was like phhhuuaaaa...brother,since when u are so good to me??haha..know why i say that?coz my brother used to sae10cent also must return and must return now..den now..he say wait till i have the money..wow!!haha!

NDP training was really fun today..haha!but!!!the weather is super not cold loh..i BTH..eventhough the sun wasn't that sunny..but no wind!haha!keep running and running haha!!eventhough its hot and tiring..i did enjoy myself...they offered KFC for lunch..im hungry but the moment i look at the KFC box...i have no appetite..i was like sweating and its so hot there and eating the KFC make me feel worst..so i decided not to eat haha!

den everything ended..wanna go aunt place..den i took train,and i think im just SOOOOOOOOOooo tired that i did not bother if i board the right train..in the end,i boarded the WRONG train!!i took the train to Jurong East den i was too tired..i thought the train will be going down Marina Bay so i continue sitting..and i fall asleep..den...i heard...Choa Chu KAng..i was like HUHHH why am i going back to where i came from!!den i noticed i boarded wrongly haha!and when im at Dhoby Ghaut,my leg cannot move liao...sit too long haha!pardon me for being abit blur for once okie haha!

today shar sms me saying: Wow!Do you know that your name means 'Blessed One'?That's fantastic right?ahah!in my heart i was like REALLLYYY!!!haha!wonder how shar know haha!but i love wad it meant.ahha!

there's something wrong with my song lehz.ARGghh...

meeting jo deary at 730am at the Singapore Changi Airport haha!so early lehz...sacrifice my sleep haha!

okie..today went aunt's place..while having dinner,grandma came..saw her..as usual i went to hug her tite tite haha!i miss her so much!and den she...pinch my meat haha!and cry..omg!she said im not fat enough!!i was like HUH!!nai nai!!!!fat bu hao!!!den she cry~~~sigh..she says she's worried for me,saying dad is not in Singapore,noone can take care of me..i was like..please nai nai..im old enough to take care of myself..ive been taking care of myself for so long already..so scared WAD?hahaha!i love independence okie...noone can spoil it!haha!

i really miss my grandma..sigh i really wish we could be like before..noone step in between us..only she and me..but now,everythings changed...people are turning more to the money minded side..but well..rich people don't work on me..too bad..i dun fancy the riches.....

in the past...rich but life is hell..now..not rich but im leading a happy and wonderful life...so,it means,not all riches gain everything in life..be it happiness love....im not rich,but im leading a wonderful life...with love and happiness and etc...im happy with what God has given me..

-gone-

woke up at 8am to go sentosa to support the Extreme Sports.hmm the participants are all so powerful,they can run so long and even swim..and some came back lying down flat on the ground...

and its the telematch where the ntu sim/smu sot and etc join to play some interesting games haha!its so fun!!haha!have to crawl under the hmm wad is that called?i duno.and hold on to the cone and turn 10 rounds and run to the point to throw one ball into the pail..haha!some turn 10 rounds they cant stand still and they keep running towards the left haha!and some fell.haha!

the sun today was alright..i hope it was a little sunny..haha!coz i want to get myself tanned..hhaa!BUT!!! when i got home,i did get myself tanned but,cham!!not nice..i wore t shirt..so my neck darker colour..and my face is redish and my arms..haha!but its so wierd for my neck..haha!!nvm!!

guess what,today someone blessed me with financial blessing!!!yeah!!and that is mike!!thank you so much mikey!!!

tonight is the last day of the Emerge Conference...sadly i cant make it as i've gotta attend my NDP training...well..the training went smoothly..everything was fine..i got the steps all that..

as for me,im involved in the media blah blah lahz..den have to learn extra dance steps..and after learning jus now,the cherographer wants the ppl involved to dance right in front of everyone..and its a lot of people and during that time,im still trying to memorise my new steps...got the steps in the end haha!eventhough kinda..like ERMMMM...but,i managed to get through it..haha!and im on the second row of the group..yeah!!!

as for wad i wrote in the entry ytd..i don't wish to talk about it..and i hope that noone will come and ask me..coz,i don't want to say anything im afraid to say wrong things again and please don't question me,coz i really don't know how to ans..and i'll somehow ans it..so please stop asking...u keep asking me,and i keep saying i don't know all that,coz i dunno how to tel u,if u want to know..you ask our L.please don't keep questioning me,coz when i don't want to ans you,i see the look on your face,i felt terrible...can don't make me feel that way again...if you noticed anything..you just keep it to yourself its better..u ask when everything is alright...but for now..its not..so its better to keep it low...and i really mean it..STOP asking me okie...i cant take it..eventhough im smiling laughing...but my heart is like...can i leave now...i don't wish to talk anymore..stop making me feel this way...im not able to take it...

and i've decided to stay happy still...if im sad everyday,my life will not be good as it is usually...

jo deary is coming over tmr morning..i shall make myself happy and stop getting distracted...i really hope tmr will be a better day...i really hope...

the sun even wanna tanned my lips...

my beautiful neck!

my beautiful kar..

i don't know why i am the shortest...aRghh...anyway,its Teng Hong,Jason,Mike,Clarice and me

got home at 12am.what a day today..............................

eventhough everything seems fine,but its so not.........................i hate this feeling..its terrible..sigh...for the first im wrong i know..for the second,how would i know i cant say that?i sms u but u nv reply and u said u forgot to reply and u said i can sms u again..but when whenever u nv reply me i always stop smsing..and what i said its what i saw and i don't even know what happen btw.................i said it out..and i didn't mean it..but what im clear about is,i was told that it was a misunderstanding..and i said it was a misunderstanding..and why must someone ponder over misunderstanding?

and i did not say anything about it till today was i do not want to be involved in this kinda problem..u told me that i can ans by saying to ask u,but if i were to say that,isnt it fishy?

okie i know im slow,i know im stupid okie..i know now,i admit okie..i cant even handle such things..or simple saying im a big mouth woman...okie...i admit okie..i am!

over the phone talk earlier...i felt so terrible.....yes i said i wanted to...ya two times in a day i said i wanted to...and i did not say its ur fault..when ur on the phone u say likdat,do u know that i felt more terrible...coz i din want this to happen at all...

after the phone call,i feel like digging a hole and stay in and don't come out...i feel like going home...i feel like can i just stop doing one thing now....jus stop....i feel like its the end of me...this is how i feel today...and it felt terrible...

and what i noticed about myself is that,when im in a situation that i cant handle,like when i ans u,u ask how come lehz?and if i was not suppose to let u know,i will not know how to ans u,but what i ans u was a misunderstanding..i was told it was a misunderstanding...i was told!i was told!!!!!!!MISUNDERSTANDING!

i din know what had happen to........ and i wouldnt know anything...but what i said was a misunderstanding..again..i was told it was a misunderstanding..

you say u wanna talk to me about it..but u nv..do u know in my heart i felt more terrible...coz that problem is not settled..and i will feel so bothered over it..coz it was said out of my mouth..and i wish it can be settled soon...coz i don't wanna see you and to feel terrible...i hate tt feeling..

i shall keep quiet from now on..SHUT UP..

that was the first part of today...as for second part...

manz...i was having a tough time during service...i was having a terrible pain in my stomach!it hurt so much that i couldnt jump sing louder and have to stay still..and everything turned out freezing cold...i couldnt take it..so i prayed to God asking Him to take the pain away..and thankfully the pain was go a little by a little...but now im home..im still in pain..BTH...arghh...

im gonna go sentosa tmr at 830am...then having NDP in school..it starts at 6.30pm..but for me it starts at 530pm..don't know why...

i had a really bad day today...a very bad one...had nv been so bad before....sigh...how i wish i got someone to talk to...but.....sigh..nvm...hope tmr everything is fine....

another part-----

while walking home from the MRT station..one guy came and talk to me..he said he was from my school and said he is my fren fren..and he said the frenz name out..and yes we talked..and i was shocked when i know that he know who am i and what bag im carrying in school!!he even said it out,he said,you carry that pink bag with the num 69 on it right..i was like..EEEeeerrrrMMM...yaahhh...den he intro himself by telling me his name and i told him mine..

and i walked off,we walked the different way..he exit the left..i exited on the right..im in the rush to go home to take care of my kittens...den he came walking FASt towards me asking me a question..do u want to do telemarketing?i said..erm.what is that?he said working in a office..doing marketing..i told him im not interested..and i continued walking..but he jus walk with me sia..and he ask questions and questions..and i guess he tot im very stupid...he ask me to do a survey and someone will call me..well will CALL me..who is that someone?HIM LA...so obvious that he wanted to know my HP number..gosh..Thank God im alert that time...and i say..huh?don't want lahz..and continue walking..and he followed..ARGhh...my heart was like..erm can u go away...eventhough we same school...but....wo ken ni dou bu shi hen sou..and i tel u....this guy...WIERD...

know why wierd?let me ask...why would a guy tell u how much he have in his bank?and for wad he tel me?i don't even want to know..and why would a guy even for nothing tell u how many siblings he got..and even asked me how many siblings i've got..and even ask if my dad or mom is supporting me..and ask what time my school start and do i always go to school that way and do i always go home late...gosh i had a public interview for nothing..and ask where i stay..and thank God im still alert..i anyhow wave my hand ard and said...somewhere there lahz..haha!but its not near the place we are talking haha!!and COZ of him...i walked the longer way home...aRGhh..waste my precious time...and why would a guy who gotta know me for less den half an hour tel me so many thing abt him,how bad he was when he was in Kindergarten and how bad he was when he was in secondary..and whats his GPA point in school..and tel me where he went just now and how many people he talked to..he even told me the gender of the ppl he talked to..and somehow like insisted me joining the wad marketing..say will learn to talk to many people...im so sorry man...i was born to be talkative..and i like to talk..i don't have to join that to be able to talk more..so i told him:erm...i always talk alot..and he said...good...this line for u is good..in my heart i was like -faints-i know its good but i told u earlier that im not interested....

see..wad a day...wad a day...wad a day!!not in the mood now...sighhhhhh...ARGHHHhh

-gone-

got home from church at 12+am.i had a long long day today!!a very long one!and im so hungry..waiting for my noodle to be ready,so here i come to blog!!

was out since 8++am till 12+am..wow!haha!went to church for our EMERGE COnfereNCE!!!WEeeEE!!i've enjoyed so much being there,just to scream my lungs out while supporting the people who are performing at Talentine..haha!and they are really very funny and they are really people with potential of being a singer or maybe actor and actresses!!they sing and acted so well!!wow!!will there be a City Harvest Idol?haha!People at City Harvest Church are just so wonderful!!

what caught my attention during Talentine was this drama on Romeo and Juliet!!hahaha!it was so funny!!and Shelia acted in it,guess i know her but she dunno who am i!!and i think Shelia is such a great wonderful Actress..she really acted very well!!and the other caught my attention was the don't know what group but their item was something like in the day we are students,in the night we are BROTHERS!and the GIRLS acted like.... UH SHUT UP and its so clarice!!!ahahaa!!u know!!haha!and theres this guy sang wang li hom ai de jiu shi ni,he can really sing!!he got the potential!!and i forgot this girl name,she say alicia keys song,and she sang super duper well!!!she is just so greaT!!and for them to win those EXCITING PRizes!!we,the audience have to scream and shout make noise for the dunno wad to gain points for them..and i screamed like i've nv screamed b4!!and its like my tone from low to the highest...which can irritated the ear!!hahah!i've enjoyed myself today!!!

well...quarrelled with my brother today...guess im also at fault,maybe my sms don't sound nice to him..but sms got no sound no voice..so he mistaken i guess..but well..i still cant forget the words tt he said in the sms!do u know that u hurt me!do u know that the words tt u say had already stabbed me..have u ever tot of considering how would others feels over wad u say?i doubt u do..quarrel coz of the kittens..sigh..and he,use words to hurt me and even PERSECUTE me...nvm..i'll clear all this problems once he is back from his camp.wad i know more abt my bro today is that he love to condemn people...ive got it!thanks!

today..i totally felt the presence of God during the 730pm svc...i love Our Almighty God!

took neoprint the other day...upload some here












okie..theres more about today,but i do not have enough time to update as ive gotta be in church tmr at 8am..need to zzz early so i can be on time tmr..

-gone-

just got up from my dreamland.did not want to wake up,but thought of my kittens so i've got no choice but to wake up haha!

i cant believe it,but kittens are really hungry kittens.the moment i open the room door,my kittens run towards me..very fast lehz.and there they started their MEOWING session,maybe to see who can meow louder.and they meow and jump lohz.they are SIAO.ahahaha!

hmm.wonder why i never update?my computer is siao.i typed a whole essay of entry and i click publish post den,my internet connection turned siao.so the entry is gone.so now,i hope my interenet connection will be stable.haha!

okie..something happened on thurdays right hor?JOANNA?hor?hope it won't happen again kayz.coz i don't like it.hahaz..hmm..on friday..went church,wanna eat SPAGHETTI..been craving for it like on thursday and someone loh!!someone,hor peishan? hor?Jason?hahaha!!they wanted to eat KFC haha!nvm..so i ate KFC instead..haha..you guys don't have to repent lahz..its jus spaghetti lahz haha!im okie with it de..craving er yi mahz..haha!

yesterday had cell group meeting.after cgm we went to tampines and had dinner at yoshinoya..haha!actually the food aint that bad lahz.but,for me,i'll never eat that,i find their zao pai don't attract me lehz..ahhaha!!den went to walk around..hmm..called aunt at 10pm..haha!got scolded..sigh..forever scold me sia..coz i called so late.and she wants to zzz..sorry lohz...i forgot that she always sleep at 10pm SHARP.but she can talk properly wad.don't have to scream,so rough..sigh..chinawoman...thank God my step mother is not staying with me..from what i've been through..chinawoman who aint married and wanting to get married are super gentle and sweet.kind..serious!!but once they are married,GOSH!!they turned into a tigeress..and that is my aunt!before she got married...man,i love hanging out with her..but once she got married...i hope i don't see her that often.and hor..chinawoman super selfish.b4 marriage agree to everything..after getting married,i tell you..try to act as the big boss!thank God my dad is a da nan ren..i can never take it that she use my sis to stop dad from coming back..chinawoman...sigh..nvm..have big heart...

okie thats about chinawoman.

-gone-

Artist: All-4-One
Song Title: Not Ready For Goodbye

v1:
Sittin here staring at the wall
Another lonely tear falls
I'm tryin to write you this song
But i can hardly see the page at all
Cause it's breaking my heart
When i look in your eyes
And i don't see me anymore
When you're all i'm living for

Chorus:
Baby tell me that you still believe
That you still love me
The way i love you
If you take your love away from me
You know i will die
Cause i'm not ready for goodbye

V2:
Baby please pick up the phone
Tell me i'm crazy
I got it all wrong
I don't know what i'm gonna do
I don't know how to live without you
You are the first song
My heart ever heard
And baby i
I believe every word
You are my heart
My soul
My world

Chorus

V3:
Every breath that i take
Every beat of my heart
You know it's all for you
I wanna hold you
I wanna love you
Forever and always

Chorus 2x